What's Arising Video Transcript

Getting Good at Grief

0:25

Welcome to what's arising.

In the last podcast I talked about stealing the wave and life being A wave of frequency.

All of life being frequency waves.

So I'm going to ring my balls right now again, as I have done in several other podcasts, and I invite you to notice your own wave of life as I ring the ball three times, the inner wave, the vibration of being in your body and all of the energies that are moving through you.

1:05

And then the wave of humanity and what we're doing right now.

Notice that if it's a fear wave and there's much fear wave, then then notice that and send love to that.

If you like.

Notice the wave of what we're creation creating as human beings, and notice the wave of all of life and consciousness and this experience of living.

1:34

It's ups and downs.

Notice just be present with all.

That is what I noticed when I rang my ball was the fluttering of the eyes as I had them partially closed.

3:18

As this wave of REM that came in, as I settled into my body, and with each wave, each wave of the bowl resonance, I started to come into this reverence for life, this connection to life and all that is, and this compassion for what is happening now in the world we all are experiencing right now.

4:00

This very tumultuous time with what's happening in Ukraine, with what's happening in Israel, Palestine, as I've mentioned before, there's there's meta crises happening, climate change, drug abuse, crime, economic peril that might be on the horizon.

4:28

And there's so many things to be fearful about.

And my sense is that this is going to get a lot worse.

And I think that you can probably hear that if you go into the Internet, into the alternative news places or dialogue in different communities.

4:48

There is this sense that everything that we thought we knew about what we were creating as human beings in this time and we've we've had relative peace all of my life at least.

But that we're in for a crash, deepening crash.

5:07

So if you feel grief now, if you feel this fear of loss now, if you feel anxiety now, the wave is going to get bigger.

That's not to scare you or put you into more anxiety.

5:26

It's just what is unfolding.

Hopefully not.

Hopefully there's some corrections happening, but it seems like that's what's unfolding here.

This big wave of fear is upon us, and it gets getting pushed into bigger waves by media, by what's happening in the world.

5:51

But there's impending destruction on the horizon.

The wave is getting bigger.

I was in a conversation the other day that in order to navigate these times that we're in, we've really got to get good at grief.

6:17

We've got to get good at grief because this sense of loss within these times, whether it be economic, whether it be health, whether it be climate change and loss of ecosystems and everything else, we are in a time of great change.

6:38

And every time we change, even if it's a good change, something has to be let go.

Something has to be surrendered in order to move through that period into the next part of our experience in life.

There is always this letting go, period before we can have the apps.

6:58

And we are in a great time of surrender, great time of letting go.

And if we're to navigate this time as individuals or communities, we have to face our fears and release our fears.

We have to get good grief.

7:17

Grief being a process of letting go, I relate highly to, you know, the Middle East, the if there's a funeral or the different cultures, not a Western culture of the whaling women really diving deep, deep, deep into the grief in order to transform it.

7:44

I think that's the the best way to see the grief and notice it, notice it arising within us and doing the deep dive right to the bottom of it all at once.

Bring it on, let me cry.

8:01

I'm a whaler.

I do it alone.

I haven't learned how to do it in communities so much, but there is a place for it, with others in community and wailing together.

It's a beautiful process to dive deeply into grief.

8:17

Because right on the other side of it, in my experience, anything I'm grieving and letting go, there's a there's a moment of joy after that.

There's a moment of peace after that.

Whatever.

If there's a rising anger or rising sadness, you're really in that grief cycle.

8:36

If we dive right into the hell of that and feel it all, watching it, witnessing it, and sometimes it's good to have others people witness your grief.

So grief and community is fine, but at least witnessing at ourselves, not getting lost in it, but diving deep into the grief, feeling it all.

8:57

And when we do that, that vibration settles down.

By we watching the vibration we still the wave of it.

It may come back again, but usually not the same peaks but each wave of emotion that comes U ah, here it is again and we dive into the wave and we feel it.

9:22

We process it.

An example of that is, is say it's small child and I have not had the fortune of having children, but I've had the fortune of watching children to some extent.

9:41

And if they're in a tantrum, if they're in a a cycle of anger or sadness or something like this, if we can just encourage that and hold them and say that's all right and love them in their grief and say yeah, feel that, allow them to process that, then they're often playing.

10:10

Very soon after that experience.

They're off, forgotten and they're running and playing back into the the joy of life very, very rapidly.

But what do we do to children instead?

10:27

As parents very often?

Ah, don't cry.

Here's a cookie.

So we learn how to emotionally eat.

Or if you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about.

And we stop the grief.

We stop the process there, and we learn habitually that grief is not good, Crying is not good.

10:51

The lower waves are not good.

We need to cut the wave.

We need to stop the wave of grief, not go down to the bottom.

And we build up the bottom.

In a sense that might give us a greater high in some ways.

11:06

When we reach out of that and there's an experience, but karma comes back to us.

We have to process that stuff or it kills us.

It crises such a disturbance in her body, in her emotional cycle, that anything can set us off.

11:24

We get road rage, or we get an outburst against our spouse or partner or children, our community, our world.

And that grief comes out and it's a destroyer, comes out of the shadows as a horrible devil.

11:44

We don't have to have that.

We don't have to have these outbursts, or when we do have these outbursts, we can take responsibility for those outbursts, for the wave, emotional wave that's arising inside of us, and be with it.

12:05

If we can be with it, we can shift it and it never has to return.

Many people in their grief work, for some reason, we like to hold on because maybe we feel more alive, or we think that person that's passed or is in difficulty will stay alive If I hold on to them, if we hold on to them.

12:29

So there's something out of sorts in our psyche that holding on to the past, holding on to these these experiences, gives us more liveness, holding on to the drama.

My suggestion is, is deep into the grief.

12:50

Dive into it fully.

Don't resist it.

Jump into it, process it, and it's done.

If the deeper we can dive, the more fully we can feel it it's done.

And if we can do this together, I mean, all of us individually deal with the waves that are going on inside of us, handle that and then show up in a still wave in the world, we can have a massive influence on what is happening in the world now.

13:26

If I am adding to the fear that wave in the collective gets worse, if I add myself to one side or the other of the drama, all I do is push the wave bigger and bigger.

13:41

Each one of us That's still our wave.

Let's do the inner work with ourselves and that's do the work with our community.

The wonderful thing about conscious community is we have the opportunity to have our buttons pushed by others and notice the wave noises are attachments.

14:07

Notice those things that we've stored away from our life.

They'll come up in community and if you have a conscious community, then that conscious community can hold your wave with you, support you, help you to process.

14:24

Let that go.

And in that process, everyone in the community can also steal their own wave.

So if you need some help or like some help instilling your wave reach out.

14:44

Have a discovery session with me and we can talk about what's arising within your life or your world and and workout a process if we're the right partners to work with each other in assisting you just still your wave.

15:05

And step into the the joy and beauty of life within all of its waves, riding the wave downstream versus against the wave, then reach out.

15:22

I'd love to help you